Happy Birthday, Sanzo!
by kyoxairi
Summary: It's that one special time of the year for the famous Priest Sanzo! It's up to Goku, Gojyo, and Hakkai to make sure that his day is as special as can be, that is, if Sanzo allows it of course! Be aware that the boys use bad language on a regular basis .


**Happy Birthday, Sanzo!**

**Dedicated to my cousin Cassandra, for her 21st birthday!!**

**Disclaimer: If I owned Saiyuki I wouldn't spend my time writing fanfiction on it.**

**Credit to Avenged Sevenfold for lyrics (The words are mushed together at the change of scenes. Go a head and figure out what they're saying if you want to!)**

"Goku, can you just tell me what's going on already?" he was getting impatient with the kid's nonsense. What was so important that he couldn't say it now? No, of course that would be way to easy.

Goku led the reluctant water sprite to his room of the hotel at which they were staying. When they finally got there they were greeted by an annoyingly cheerful Hakkai.

"So I see Goku dragged you here too." Hakkai remarked.

"Looks that way," Gojyo replied. "Come on monkey, you've made us wait long enough, out with it!!"

"Alright, Alright!" Goku said, trying to calm his overactive friend.

"Okay," he said with shifty eyes. "It has to do with Sanzo."

Hakkai and Gojyo leaned in closer, as if to hear some big, juicy secret.

"Are you ready for it?"

"Actually, I thought we could make ourselves some tea first," Hakkai replied sarcastically.

"Yeah, and while we're at it, we could share our feelings and insecurities," Gojyo added even more sarcastically. "NO! Tell us the dirt on Sanzo, NOW!!" he shouted, grabbing a hold of the monkey king.

"Lemme go ya stupid cockroach!" Goku whined, trying to free himself from the hands of the enraged Gojyo.

"Let him go, Gojyo," Hakkai demanded. "Now Goku, will you please just tell us whatever it is you have to say?" he asked with a stressed level of coolness.

"Okay, okay," he said secretly after being let go. "Tomorrow is...Sanzo's Birthday!!"

They both looked at the small one like he was insane. "And?" they asked unison.

"We're gonna throw him a party!!" Goku yelled excitedly.

As if their minds were linked, both Hakkai and Gojyo tried to imagine the highly-regarded and super-prestigious Genjo Sanzo at a birthday party, and both came up with the image of facing the dreaded, six-shot banishing gun. Both shivered involuntarily.

"So, whatdya think?" Goku asked expectedly after a few moments of stunned silence from his friends.

"That has got to be the stupidest idea I've ever heard!" Gojyo said, automatically crushing Goku's hopes and dreams.

"I'm afraid I have to agree with Gojyo on this one," Hakkai agreed. "Goku, what Sanzo have you been hanging out with lately."

"Whatdya mean?" asked a very clueless Goku.

"He means that our Sanzo isn't the type of guy who would really enjoy a party," Gojyo answered. "I just can't see going to all that work just to end up dead."

"So I take it you were thinking the same thing?" Hakkai asked.

"But that's where you're wrong," Goku explained. "It'll be a small party, with just us. We'll get a cake, get him a few presents, take him out, maybe even surprise him, and that's it."

"Well when you put it that way," Gojyo said thoughtfully. "There's no reason why we shouldn't celebrate the special, once-a-year occasion of our dear friend, '_Master_ Sanzo'.

"But how do we bring everything here without ruining the surprise?" Hakkai asked.

"Oh that's easy," Goku replied, holding a handful of cigarettes.

"Are those what I think they are?"

"Oh yeah! And when he finds out that he doesn't have anymore, we'll make him go out and get some more himself, leaving us to set up."

"Monkey boy, you've done it! You're absolutely brilliant!" Gojyo complimented.

"I know ya pervy-water sprite. Glad you finally caught on!"

********

"...becauseireallyalwaysknewthatmylittlecrimewouldbecoldthatswhyigotaheatherforyourthighsandiknowiknowitsnotyourtimebutbyebyeandawordtothewisewhenthefirediesyouthinkitsoverbutitsjustbeganbabydontcrycauseyouhadmyheartatleastforthemostpartcauseeverybodysgottadiesometimewefellapartletsmakeanewstartcauseeverybodysgottadiesometimeyeahyeahbutbabydontcry..."

********

Later that night the trio sat huddled in a corner of their friend's room, discussing their plans for what they would do after they finally got rid of Sanzo.

Speaking of the blonde, droopy-eyed monk, he sat at the table, reading the newspaper and smoking what was the last cigarette he had. Not that he wanted to, but he overheard parts of their discussion, like "..and once we get rid of him...", "...go to the bakery...", "and "get pink frosting!!"

"Do I want to know what you three are up to?"

"You wish!" Goku replied.

"Yeah, keep out of our business and we'll keep out of yours," Gojyo added, as he threw the paper fan that Sanzo had misplaced earlier that day, which smacked the irritable priest in the head.

The hanyou barely had time to blink before he came face-to-face with Sanzo's gun. "You have five seconds to give me one good reason for not putting a bullet threw your head right now."

He didn't even need two seconds. "Because if you didn't have me then nothing would be stopping the chibi chimp from bugging you 24/7."

'Damn," Sanzo thought. 'It's like he had that prepared.'

"You're damn lucky that I'm in a good mood," Sanzo said as he retracted the gun from Gojyo's forehead. "Now all of you, GET THE HELL OUT OF MY ROOM!"

"Geez, old man, it's only 9 o'clock," Gojyo complained.

"Watch what you say," the pissed off priest warned. "You're on thin ice with me."

"We had better listen to him," Hakkai advised.

"Yeah, let's go," Goku agreed as he helped Hakkai drag the feisty Gojyo out of the room.

"You wanna fight tough guy? I'll take you on!" Gojyo yelled from the hallway as he struggled to free himself of his friends' grip.

Sanzo couldn't help but help but laugh at the kappa's pure idiocy. 'I'd like to see that.'

**********

"...Idontbelongherewegottamoveonhereesapefromthisafterlifecausethistimeimrighttomoveonandonfarawayfromheregotnothingagainstyouandsurelyillmissyouthisplacefullofpeaceandlightandwhydontyouwritetakemebackinsidewhenthetimeisright..."

The very next morning, everyone was busy devouring breakfast, except for Sanzo, who was engaged in his usual routine of coffee, smoking, and reading the newspaper with his sexy reading glasses. Nothing out of the usual, as Sanzo expected. When he reached for his cigarette packet he realized that he was totally out. 'That's funny, I could've sworn that I had Hakkai buy me these only a day ago.'

"Hey Hakkai," Sanzo called. "When you go out, get me some more cigarettes."

"Here's an idea," Gojyo suggested. "How about you get off your lazy ass and get them yourself?"

"Did our limited brain capacity allow us to forget about the thin ice already? I suggest you best not break it."

"Whatever."

"Maybe it would be best for you, Sanzo," Hakkai suggested. "You haven't left the hotel since we got here, a little first air wouldn't kill you."

"Why should I get my own cigarettes when I have you three to do my work for me?"

"That attitude of yours is why," Hakkai scolded. "We're not your slaves, even if saying so is what gets us all to stay in monasteries half the time." He gave the priest the look that implied that he wasn't joking around

"You'll pay for this," Sanzo threatened as he got up and left, grumbling under his breath the entire time.

"Wow, I didn't think it would be that easy," said a surprised Goku.

"Leave the persuasiveness to Hakkai and good things will happen." Gojyo complimented.

"Thanks Gojyo," Hakkai smiled. "Okay guys, so we've got a lot of work to do if we want to have this set up by the time Sanzo gets back."

******

"...weveallbeenlostformostofthislifeeverywhereweturnmorehatredsurroundsusandiknowthatmostofusjustaintrightfollowinthewrongstepsbeingledbythelight..."

******

To say that he was merely pissed off was a huge understatement. Never before had he been made to to go out and get his own cigarettes, so he didn't see why he should have to now. He didn't know where the hell those guys got their nerve, but Sanzo would make sure that they regretted it. Angrily, he stomped into the hotel, glared at anyone who even considered to greet him, and softly grumbled to himself all the way to his room. "I swear I'll kill them."

With all the force he possessed, he swung the door to his room open. He had barely looked into the room when he was greeted with...

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY SANZO!!!!"

The surprise was clear in his eyes as he stared into the familiar faces of Goku, Gojyo, and Hakkai. The three of them stood in a half circle around a table that held a cake that was decorated pink, had white lettering spelling out 'Happy Birthday' and lighted candles. Just by eyeballing it he couldn't tell the exact number but he assumed that there were probably twenty-four candles.

"Sorry about making you leave, but it was only so we could set up here. Do you like it?" Goku asked.

He didn't say a word.

"It looks like we've stunned him speechless," Hakkai commented in a laughing manner.

"I know what will help." The red-head cut off a large piece of cake and handed it over to the speechless monk on a plate. "Here ya go. Eat up birthday boy!"

Finally the calm and collected composure that he had been able to keep all day snapped. He could no longer stand the stupidity of his travel companions. What at first started out as a petty annoyance had evolved into a splitting headache and a growing loathing towards idiots. Without hesitating he took the piece of cake that Gojyo offered him and slammed it back into the taller man's face.

"WILL YOU ALL JUST SHUT THE HELL UP?" he yelled at the top of his lungs. "All of you just need to cut this crap out and get the hell out of here, this is still my room!"

Two blank and utterly surprised stares and a cake-filled one responded to the monk's outburst. By now they were used to Sanzo being cranky and pissed off on a daily basis, and they expected the occasional scolding, but today of all days? Why shouldn't they celebrate their friend's birthday? After all, it only comes once a year, Sanzo could deal with the center of attention for just one day. Surely Sanzo could understand that his friends just wanted to make his birthday special. So really, two of the three didn't understand why the pretty-boy priest was so angry, and even felt that the yelling was undeserved.

Just then something inside Hakkai's mind clicked, 'Wait a minute. It's not like Sanzo to get angry over something like a party. Perhaps the reason for Sanzo's anger is not because we're celebrating his birthday, but because we're not celebrating the right...oh shit!'

"Goyjo, Goku, I think it's best if we leave Sanzo alone for a bit," Hakkai tried to reason.

"Oh no, Hakkai. The 'almighty Mr. Sanzo' isn't getting off so easily this time." The red-headed kappa wiped the sticky pastry off his face and got right into the priest's face. "Now listen, we put a lot of work into making this party for you, we even sprang for the good wine..."

"Yeah, with my credit card I'm sure," Sanzo interrupted.

"That's beside the point!" Gojyo replied in a tone that was rising in anger. If he wasn't angry before the cake fiasco, Sanzo's inappreciativeness was doing the job tenfold. "The point is that we all cared enough about you to throw is party in the first place. We understand that you're an asshole by nature, but for our sake can't you lighten up for just one day?"

Before Goyjo could say anything more he was pushed aside by a depressed Goku. His head was bowed and it was clearly evident that he was holding back tears.

"Sanzo," sad, childlike amber eyes looked up into cold, angry amethyst ones. "We didn't mean to upset you."

"Obviously you've failed with that plan," Sanzo muttered as he turned sideways in a manner that suggested talking to the boy was beneath him.

"But why?" Goku burst out as he followed his savior's movements so he was once again facing him. "Why does it upset you to when we try to make you happy? Is it so wrong to want to see you smile, if only just once?" He couldn't stop the tear from running down his cheek.

Sanzo sighed irritably. 'What I did to deserve to deserve the rotten karma of being stuck with these three, I'll never know.' He looked down at the poor, teary mess of a monkey king and then looked over to see the quietly quarreling figures of Hakkai and Gojyo. It was no doubt that Hakkai had figured out what was wrong, and Gojyo, being the brainless idiot he was, was to hard-headed to hear a word of what Hakkai was trying to explain. 'Those two will never change.' He smiled inwardly to himself. 'And I'd never have it any other way. As for the monkey...'

The blonde harshly grabbed a hold of boy's chesnut-brown hair.

"Ow! You don't have to go pullin' my hair out..."

Ignoring his protests, he interrupted with "Stop crying. You look pathetic. Although annual occasions such as birthdays are trivial and rather pointless and there's no need for you to go out of your way"

After controlling his sobs, Goku asked, "So, are you mad?"

"Not mad," Sanzo replied, "just irritated, as usual. And as usual, I'll get over it. Now since you all seem to refuse to leave, I'll be going out. Don't wait up." He turned to exit. "Oh, and one more thing, it's not my birthday."

He almost swore that he heard Gojyo's jaw hit the floor. Just as he had stepped out of the door of his hotel room, he was stopped by the more sensible one of their traveling quartet, next to him of course. "Sanzo, just out of curiosity, when exactly is you birthday?"

"Tomorrow." The Sanzo priest muttered as he kept up his stride and completely left the room.

From the hallway he could hear Gojyo's annoyed voice. "You have got to be kidding me! Goku, how the hell could you mess up the dates!?"

"I'm sorry!" Goku pleaded. "I guess we'll just have to do it all over again tomorrow."

"Tomorrow!? There's no fucking way that you'll get me to help you this time!"

"Come on now Gojyo," Hakkai reasoned, "It'll be fun. After all, tomorrow's Sanzo's birthday, and it only comes once a year!"

The priest smirked at Hakkai's comment. He wished he could have seen the look on the hanyou's face. 'That's right, tomorrow's MY birthday. Have fun planning.'

* * *

**Reviews are always much appreciated!!^.^**


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